12 Morning Rituals for a Happy Marriage


It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been married two years or twenty years; every day is a good day to show your spouse how much they mean to you, and those little sentiments don’t necessarily have to make a grand statement in order to be remembered and appreciated.

Even the smallest of gestures can leave a lasting impression, so greet each morning with your spouse by creating your own traditions that are sure to get your day started off on the right foot.

Chances are, if you’ve ever had the opportunity to speak to other “seasoned” married couples, they will tell you that the key to their happy marriage involved tried and true rituals shared only between the two of them.

Don’t ever believe it’s too late to start your own, if you’ve been married as long as I have (twenty years) or even longer.

It’s never too late to show your spouse how much they mean to you, and there’s no rule stating you have to express your love and appreciation in some grand fashion.

Sometimes even the smallest of gestures leave the biggest of impressions on a loved one.

If you need some ideas to get the ball rolling, then consider adopting these to get you started on building traditions that will last a lifetime.

1. Relieving some of the stress.

Does your wife (or husband) wake up early to get the kids ready for school?

Weekdays can be extremely hectic, especially if you have preschool or elementary school-aged children.

Between cooking breakfast, packing lunches, helping kids get dressed, making sure their hair is combed and their teeth are brushed, school mornings can cause even the sanest of parents to go a little bonkers every now and then.

If you have to leave early for work, then why not make a tender gesture, such as preparing the coffeemaker the night before, if your spouse enjoys a fresh cup of coffee every morning?

It doesn’t have to be just a weekday thing either.

If your spouse is an early riser, and you enjoy sleeping in, then set the timer on the coffeemaker the night before, so it will be there, piping hot and ready, by the time your loved one wakes up.

2. Enjoy some java.

Speaking of coffee, if you both like drinking it, and you have a few minutes to spare every morning (sans kids), then sit down for a few minutes at the kitchen counter or dining room table and enjoy a cup of coffee together.

You could even put a twist on this during the frigid winter months by trading in your coffee for hot chocolate, since many people love a steaming mug of hot chocolate on cold mornings.

It doesn’t really matter what your choice of drink is, as long as you’re carving out a few minutes each day to sit down together.

3. Make sex a priority.

This suggestion might seem like I’m asking you to jot down a reminder in your day planner to have sex, but if your life tends to get stressful between taking care of your spouse, children, a full-time job, and other activities, then chances are you already know how sex can sometimes rate pretty low on your list of things to do.

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I hope I don’t have to remind you how beneficial sex is when it comes to having a happy marriage. Now, I’m not saying you have to go at it like bunnies 24/7, but if it takes writing it down in your day planner, then do it.

Sex as a morning ritual is a win-win for both of you because you’re rested and energized after sleeping all night, plus the kids are probably still snoring away in their bedrooms.

Set your alarm a little earlier than usual so you can enjoy each other before the craziness begins. And, by all means, don’t forget to lock your bedroom door!

4. Snuggle sessions.

Okay, so if sex is out of the question, for whatever reason, this doesn’t mean you two can’t still snuggle with each other before you get out of bed every morning.

Sex isn’t the only physical act that can draw two people together.

(And don’t let your husband tell you otherwise.

Whether they like to believe it or not, men CAN live without sex every once in a while).

Sometimes just holding each other and discussing your plans for the day is enough to keep you grounded and connected with each other.

5. A simple little kiss goodbye.

If I’m able to sleep in, my husband, Shawn, won’t leave for work until he’s kissed me on the cheek and whispered “I love you” in my ear.

It might sound understated but never take the little things for granted. This simple act of love keeps him on my mind (and close to my heart) all day long.

6. Open a book.

For our tenth wedding anniversary, my mother-in-law gave us a book of daily devotionals written specifically for married couples.

I read a few of them out loud to Shawn one morning, and this has since become one of our other favorite rituals.

There are a ton of couple’s devotionals on the market today, and you can easily find one at most book store retailers, online retailers, or even your public library.

They can be thought provoking and spiritual or even comical. It doesn’t really matter what the subject matter is, and it doesn’t even have to be a book of devotionals.

It can be any genre of book the two of you enjoy.

The point is to spend some quality time alone together before opening your bedroom door and letting the chaos ensue. Take turns reading out loud.

(Having your spouse read to you is actually a turn-on for many couples).

7. Restaurant ritual.

One of Shawn’s coworker’s has a morning ritual with his wife where they meet up at their favorite restaurant every weekday morning for breakfast, before going their separate ways to work.

They’ve been married over thirty years, and unless something unforeseeable has happened, you can spot their vehicles parked side-by-side at this restaurant every single weekday morning at the same exact time, like clockwork.

I think it’s adorable. My husband thinks it’s expensive. (Phooey! I’m sticking with adorable.)

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8. Pray together.

Are you and your spouse deeply grounded in your spiritual beliefs? If so, then take a few minutes every morning to pray together before you leave home.

I know many people in happy marriages who do this, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be an elaborate prayer.

It could even be a simple prayer for safety while you’re apart.

What counts is spending a little bit of quality time praying as a couple, to get your day started off right.

If you’re not the spiritual type, and you prefer other methods of relaxation, like meditation, then get up a few minutes early with your spouse and spend some time meditating together.

9. Love notes.

If your spouse carries a briefcase or lunch bag to work, then take the time to write a few sweet sentiments on a Post-It note or piece of paper and slip it inside before they leave for work.

Many a horrible day on the job has been turned around by finding something as simple as an “I love you” scribbled on a tiny piece of paper.

10. Give your heart a workout.

Do you and your spouse enjoy working up a sweat together? (I’m talking about physically working out, as in exercise—not sex. Focus!)

If you have time to get in a workout every morning before heading to your job, then go for a run together or meet up at the local gym for a treadmill session.

Exercise IS fabulous for your sex life too, because working up a sweat releases those powerful little receptors called endorphins, which give you a feeling of pleasure, and not to mention being physically active just makes you feel downright sexy, so you end up wanting it more.

11. Three little words.

Never forget to say, “I love you” to your spouse. So many people take these three words for granted, but we’re not promised tomorrow, so it’s vitally important to say it every morning before you part ways.

If something unforeseen were to happen, would you want your last words to your spouse to be “Stop by the store for milk on your way home” or “I love you”?

And this doesn’t count for just morning rituals either. Let these be the last words your spouse hears before falling asleep every night too.

12. Breakfast in bed.

A couple of weeks ago, on a very chilly Saturday morning, I decided to give Shawn a little something extra to warm him up before our weekend ritual of breakfast in bed.

As I slipped under the covers beside him, I did my best to keep from waking him up—at least not so soon.

The new black satin nightgown I had changed into was being particularly ornery, and as I turned toward Shawn and propped up on my elbow—for dramatic effect and all—I felt the material twist around my legs.

I stifled a groan while trying as indiscreetly as I could to unwrap myself from its grip, but the more I moved the tighter the endless sea of satin and lace seemed to grab me.

I yanked on the material again, only this time with a bit more gusto.

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Yes, you would be right to assume that my morning wasn’t turning out to be nearly as romantic as I had planned.

I managed to free my legs just as Shawn began to wake up, and he grinned like a kid in a candy store once he saw my sexy new attire.

I tossed my hair over my shoulder and ran a hand seductively over my thigh—you know, for more dramatic effect—and when he threw the bedcover aside and reached for me, I flew into his arms quicker than you can say, “Let’s DO this!”

Clothes were discarded and thrown across the room, and I was so caught up in the heat of the moment that everything else seemed to just magically fade away.

That is, until this happened…

“Do I smell bacon?”

Within a matter of seconds, our heavy make-out session ended with Shawn abruptly letting me go and bolting upright in bed so he could glance around the room.

And that was when he spotted it on his nightstand beside the bed—the plate of steaming hot pancakes and bacon I had cooked for him. (Well, at least something in the room was still hot).

Okay, so maybe cooking his favorite food before attempting to have sex wasn’t one of my greatest ideas. Still, the “You’re such an awesome wife.

I’m the luckiest man in the world” look he gave me before he feasted on his breakfast was enough to melt my heart—and the twinge of jealousy I felt watching him drool over the pig instead of me.

Breakfast in bed every Saturday is another morning ritual we started during our first year of marriage, and we do our best to faithfully keep those traditions.

There have been very few weekends were we haven’t been able to stick to our routine, unless something came up that couldn’t be helped.

Our Saturday morning breakfast in bed is our time to get caught up with each other after a busy week of work and chasing after two teenagers.

We call it our retreat away from the craziness of life, where we can regroup and catch our breath.

If there are problems we need to discuss, this is the neutral ground where we open up and say what’s on our mind and hash things out.

Throughout twenty years of marriage, it’s been our simple but sacred reprieve from the world and we treasure it.

If you decide to take these tips to heart, or better yet design your own style of morning ritual, then do it deliberately and with passion.

A truly happy marriage is comprised of, above all else, the sincere amount of love, devotion, and effort you both put into making it.